CHOSEN and BLESSED

NIV
3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


Message

3-4Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.
5-9So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can't see what's right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.
10-11So, friends, confirm God's invitation to you, his choice of you. Don't put it off; do it now. Do this, and you'll have your life on a firm footing, the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Krissy Responses verse by verse to this passage:
3.
We learn from the very beginning of the Bible in Genesis to the last words in Revelations, that truly this life we have, has been given to us by God, and it the the desire of our Creator, Savior, King, to be everything to us in life, and He has given us EVERYTHING in life, and NOTHING is more important than knowing JESUS! AMEN
4. How amazing! Not only did God save us- from a dangerous position/circumstance BUT he also offers us the WHOLE WORLD. How amazing! He welcomes us into a life of fullness, majesty, beauty...and provides an amazing escape from the places of darkness and ugliness of our world.
Just imagine finding a great treasure chest..what would be inside? All the desires of your heart cannot even come up with what God has FREELY and BEAUTIFULLY offered us. ( I forget this all too often. O dear Jesus, thank you so much for all that your outstretched hand is offering me.)
What does participation in heavenly things look like? wow! I cannot even fathom, but I feel so unbelievably humbled and in awe.....you are offering me all the riches of heaven and all the assurance of your perfect love. wow!Lord I do want to particpate in all the things of you..and Lord help me, for I am weak, to escape the things of the world, which are intended to destroy me and take away from the beautiful things you have for me. I adore you Jesus! Please help me to wholeheartedly pursue you more and participate more in your divinve nature and ways and life!
5. Does faith really produce goodness? I know that intimate knowledge of Jesus produces faith that cannot be shaken. I know that many people have some for of understanding or knowledge of God and Jesus, but they have not has one of those face to face, plunging experiences in HIS divine and loving presence....I pray for that for the whole world...because in those moments, the whole world and our existence makes sense....Lord God I pray that in my life...the faith that I have in you....will produce goodness in me. I look a GOODNESS as a light to the world that shine brightly....people cant avoid it...people always acknowledge goodness! That is why it is called GOOD NEWS, right? You are so beautiful LORD, you are so good. I want to be a daughter of a GOOD GOD. Produce in me a branch of goodness that may bear fruit that others may eat off of and acknoledge your goodness! Amen.
6. A Christian is marked often times negatively by the things that he/she does not do. Often times it is really something that deters people from getting to know the God of Christians. They are no fun! They dont do so many things....But Christians should be marked by the things that we do do! With this said as well, we do live in a culture that promotes indulgence! We have to demonstrate self control and perserverance. Why? Sometimes I myself am not sure. But I do know that those times that I demonstrated those two qualities I was greatly awarded with spiritualy growth and intimacy with my Father. Lord I pray that you will continue to help me demonstrate these two qualiies that I may bear witness to you working in my life! Thank you.
7. Reverent wonder? I really think that God desires this from His children. Isnt this worship? Praise? I often imagine the nations before God in heaven....praising and worshipping God in eternity, for eternity. Some people have told me, what will we do in heaven? You honestly cant tell me you will just stand before God for eternity and sing to him, people ask sarcastically. I have thought about this, and I must say that when I was younger and not as in love with God as I am now...the thought was not all too appealing...but now.....O lord.whenever I am in worship...I dont want it to end....I basked in it...and my heart is filled...all my desires are fulfilled.
Love? What does love have to do with it? You know the verse that every pastor uses for a wedding...love is patient, love is kind....well they always forget to read the verses before that...
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love matters above all else...and it is the true mark of dicipleship, sonship, I believe.
8. The more we grow in likeness of Christ the more we can really grasp all that He desires for us. I think that we often walk around NOT acknowledging 1.) what God has already miraculously done for us, forgiven our sins and bought us out of hell, 2.) that God is passionately pursuing us everyday and His love for us is so GREAT. Do you realize what you have in CHRIST...do you realize the life he is offering you now...and for all eternity.
9. Believe it dear brothers and sisters.....you have been forgiven and you are no longer in debt. He loves you and you are HIS forever!
10. God really has chosen you....God came as a little baby for you....God died on the CROSS for you....he has so much in store for you...will you not open your heart and life to HIM so that he may do a great work in you and bless you and love you like you have never experienced before!
O dear child, every day please live in that promise. He loves you and wants so much great things for you. It is all he thinks about....he created the whole universe for you......every thing he does it out of motivation that you may know him more and spend eternity with him.
11.
You will receive a rich welcome! I was always told when I was little that everytime a new believer comes to the Father....a party happens in heaven. It is true! You are so loved, dear child.
Also stand strong on the promise that the road to eternity....it is a paved wide road....Jesus has made it easy for you...all you have to do is believe, confess, and just soak up all the blessings of heaven.
I pray you recieve this well and that it may bless you. he adores you.
Merry Christmas!

I was truly touch by the movie BLIND SIDE. I encourage anyone who has not seen it to make it a priority to see.

I have a few reflections:

We experience our true humanity when we open our hearts up completely and vulnerably to another human being.

What is giving your shirt off your back, if you dont offer your heart to them as well?

Some of us have been blessed with lots of things. Some of us dont have anything. But we are all children of God, loved, adored, and created by an AMAZING GOD. If my sister or brother doesnt have something, I know my daddy would want me to share that something with her/him. I know that if I had nothing, my daddy would want my brother/sister to share with me.

I know people always talk about leftovers from Thanksgiving. Leftover turkey sandwiches, leftover turkey soup. How about this year we dont worry about left overs? How about this year, you invite someone over whom you know wouldnt get a thanksgiving feast......and leave the tupperware in the cabinet this year.

How about next time you drive in a neighborhood you dont like or are a bit fearful of, you dont automatically lock your doors but rather stop and smile at the little kids outside playing and ask God to open your eyes to opportunities to reach out instead of segregate yourselves from them just because of fear, ignorance, and lack of understanding.

Do you have an extra room in your house? Why do you have that extra room? What do you use it for? Think about what God would want you to use that room for.

Lord help me to be aware of the needs of others and help me to be a uniting factor, not a dividing factor for the purpose of humanity. I love you and I love your children. Show me practical ways to do this ....... be a part of the KINGDOM OF GOD now! Your children all deserve the chance to become the person you desire and have designed them to be. Potential, lets all believe in the potential of each other, no matter skin color, socioeconomic status, street address, ect.

All for you, love your daughter KRISSY

Thank you LORD for pressing on the hearts of some of your children....specifically about me.....wow! You used your children to touch and change my life. You chose people who saw potential in me. Thank you. It has been a great and beautiful life!

FEARLESS LIVING

"Running down a soccer field at the age of 23, I heard the voice of the Lord Jesus Christ for the first time. I didnt hear his voice in my ears.....it was much louder than that. I heard God speak with my whole being. And when He spoke, I knew His voice as well as I knew my own mothers and fathers.
He said to me, Eddie are you going to run after this ball for the rest of your life, or are you going to run after me like you are runing after that ball?
Right there , I responded to the voice of God. I made a decision to stop running after the ball and start running after souls. My goal no longer sits at the end of the soccer field. No my goal is to see souls come to Chris to see you set free from fear by the power of God. This is my mission."

I am reading this book by Edward John and it is really captivating. I feel that I am a BOLD Christian in some ways. I would defend my faiths and beliefs if I felt they were being attacked. But internally, Lord, I realize that I am not living as BOLDLY as you desire me to. You desire a BOLDNESS inside of me to PURSUE all those things you have placed in my heart.
What is the verse...perfect love casts out fear. Yes, LORD, why is I stumbling in fear sometimes. Why do I shrink back from the things you have placed in my heart. I do no want to be complacent, ungrateful, blinded, misguided, changed by my fears but LORD I want captivate your heart and I want to captivate the identity that I have in you.......I heard a voice last night.....write them down, Krissy. 10 things you want to see happen in your lifetime. 10 things you want ME to do in the WORLD through you!!!!!!!!!Really God, I thought. You want to use me knowing all my blemishes! So here it goes.......
1. I want to support a whole village finacially, spiritually, emotionally, academically, and medically/ physically along side my husband and son.
2. I want to adopt a baby from Africa or Asia, and give her/him the life that God desires for that child.
3. I want to raise 30,000 for Samaritans purse through Team Samaritans Purse and my running abilities.
4. I want to live to see my son marry his soulmate, the woman who perfectly completes him and intends to walk with him into eternity going after the THINGS OF GOD.]
5. I want to open a clinic and community center with my husband working side by side me everyday healing and helping the children, women, and families of a tired, hurting, poor, and other wise desolate community. (HANDS OF HOPE)
6. Next year I want to help 5 Christian friends experience their first mission trip and inspire them to make their yearly vacation time, their commited mission time.
7. I want to truly be apart of bringing others to the LORD. I want to pursue people in my life that I know need encouragement and love and need to have a God encounter.
8. I want to go back and work in the Philippines and be a midwife with my family.
9. I want to go to seminary and learn how to more effectively preach and live out the WORD OF THE LORD so that the world may see the beauty of the LORD and come to him one by one.
10. I want to be the WIFE I am supposed to be and be the helpmate that GOD created me to be, to be apart of helping Jason fulfill all the dreams that the LORD has for him too.

Lord I need to get serious. I need to wake up with a zeal for life and for the THINGS that matter to you.
LORD, please help me to collide into the lives of those that need you and make me fully aware that I am intended to be the one to help them, love them and bring them to their FATHER.
I am sick of being small minded, complacent, and selfish. WOW! Lord change me and thank you for your patience. Let my life song sing to you....and yes LORD...may you be proud to sign your name at the end of my day!
Change my being LORD. Make me a new creation. Let people see me and SEE YOU instead! I have so many rough areas. But let love be the thing that heals hearts and touches lives....let me be an instrument of love.....I am nothing without you and I dont know where to go without you...please direct me so that I may serve your children and you more!
Listen to my heart, and take out anything that is hindering me from this pursuit! I love you daddy!

Car Rides home and Phone conversations

It is rather odd; I have not written on this blog for sometime now. I was trying to figure out why not. I guess I was waiting for some GRANDIOSE revelation from God to share- but it hasnt come to mind yet.
So I guess I will just pour out my heart and remind myself again that GOD is present in my life on the most ordinary of days.
I have a good friend whom I often call on my long car rides to and from work. I often feel bad when I am talking to him because I know I am just rambling about nothing- my ridiculously boring and ordinary day at work or other such nonsense. But still I look forward to talking to him, knowing I can just share life with him. Now, lots of times we are also talking about serious things too. It is amazing how quickly we can switch over from work to orphans in Africa, what we ate for lunch to dealing with tragedy in our family's lives. But that is what friendship is I guess. This is how GOD is-I imagine God sitting on a big comfortable red chair near a big phone up in heaven, just waiting for one of HIS kiddos to call. He desires intimacy with us- just sharing the ordinary happenings of one's day- while also being fully available when tragedy strikes and we need a WARRIOR to come in and scoop us up and rescue us.
Matthew 28:20

beautiful SAVIOR!

Isaiah 55

"Come ALL you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you who have no money, come , buy, eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. I will make an EVERLASTING covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David...."

I wonder if I really ever embrace all that God invites me to when I enter into the family of GOD? Am I really taking advantage of all that Christ is trying to give me?
I had a vision today and I just saw God with his hands overflowing with GIFTS...of all shapes and sizes...and repeating the words, Just take it, Just take it.
I think that God has so much for all of us......and all we have to do is receive it...but for some reason we are stifled or we are fearful or we are convinced what he is trying to offer us is not really for us....BUT do you not know that GOD died for you.....Alice, George, Paul, John, Tim, Luke, Stacy, Amy.....KRISSY....really he did? He died for each of us so that we may live, and live the most abundant and wonderful lives possible. I know it is the delight of his heart to have each of HIS children walking in the truth....walking in a reality and identity that GOD has created for each of us...and not that our circumstances or own heart has created for us.
Something very strong on my heart is this......children of God....are you allowing Your creator to be present in your life....that he actually motivates the steps that you choose to take and walk each day....or dear child are you so burdened that you are walking a path alone..a path not designed for a child of God.....in fact it is a path created for the exact intention of keeping you off the intended path God has for you by the enemy. I am guilty of this eveyday....everyday I wake up and set my feet on the ground without first talking to my Father or without asking him to walk with me first. Lord Jesus forgive me for walking my own paths, deliberately or foolishly, and help me to walk closer to you....set my feet on the path that you desire for me....
Lord, I really see a lot of pain...recently in the eyes of your children, and it confuses me.....Lord do we not trust you...or do we not know you..I mean really know you....because I think that as your children if we really knew you we would not have so much pain! I think that we are fearful of you and what you have for us only because we do not really know your character....do we doubt you?

Lord you are so amazing, whenever I get a closer glimpse of you Lord I am so thankful for you...I just bathe myself in the salvation that you offer me.....oh Jesus you are so wonderful.....your love is so real and unconditional....and I apologize for taking things into my hands that are not mine to take into my hands. I surrender all to you Lord....in this moment and forever...because I know that abiding in your presence is all my heart was created to desire or need!

Lord help your children....help each one of them to feel deeply your love....and all that you are offering them.

We all have the wonderful opportunity to embrace a life that God intended for us.....a life that is so beautiful.....
Look at it this way.....a fork was created for a specific function.....it will never be a spoon or knife....it cannot ever fully function as either of these.....it will only be perfectly used as a fork....
we are all this way....we will not completely function....until we determine our shape..our God given shape and function/purpose......and then we will really LIVE AND BREATHE AND THRIVE AND DESIRE AND UNVEAL AND CELEBRATE AND AND AND AND......

May you experience a life....an abundant life...that you live in everyday that allow you to see HIS REALITY for you.....the reality of HIS LOVE HIS FORGIVENESS HIS FULLNESS HIS POWER HIS GRACE......... he has so much in store for you...for me Krissy....for all of us.....

I pray that I will embrace this more everyday...I am so thankful for you JESUS...thank you for walking next to me...I love you and thank you for being with me even in my weakness brokenness ugliness waywardness awkwarness selfishness carelessness .......everything! You are the best DADDY!

Dear friends, HE REALLY DOES LOVE YOU AND HE DESIRES YOU TO HAVE THE GREATEST LIFE POSSIBLE....he is always on your side as my beloved pastor charles niemann always tells the congregation!

Heres to the journey....Heres to life....the intended life...live in the reality of your father not in the hazziness of your former life! Amen. This is my prayer for my life, my family and all my dear friends! Brothers and sisters...lets do this together!

Salvation....9-9-9

I am overwhelmed and completely blessed. I do not think that this day...this moment I experienced tonight will ever be topped.
My sweet baby boy, Christopher, accepted Jesus into his heart tonight.
I can imagine the party that is happening in heaven right now for his benefit....in celebration of him.....
We were reviewing the AWANA bible verse for tomorrow...JOHN 3:16...a verse Christopher actually has had memorized for over a year now...but today something....God...just really touched his heart.
He was asking me....When some people die they do not go to heaven? Why not? What do you have to do to go to heaven?
I asked him if he knew that Jesus loved him and if he knew what he had done for him...I asked him...you understand that verse...that God loves YOU, CHRISTOPHER, so much that he sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.....
I sensed that Christopher really understood this.....Christopher just started kindergarten this fall...and one of the things the teachers do with the kids is give parents daily feedback about their behavior. The purple slips are for super behavior and the whites slips are to let parents know when the kids have had a difficult day. Christopher has recieved both slips. One day I remember he did cry because he did not get a purple slip and got a white slip...he said...MOM it is hard to be good all day!
These daily slips of paper have really open up opportunities to talk to him about God's love and forgiveness. One thing that Jason and I decided is that we will talk to him about the white slips and use these as teachable moments....but in front of Christopher...we take that slip....that says what he did....and we throw it into the trash in front of him..one...because we do not want him to think that we hold that against him...that there is always tomorrow...and we want him to have a tangible understanding of God's forgivness.
Praise the LORD...because tonight...my little boy....5 years old and 3months and 16 days old....accepted Jesus into his heart....with a clear awareness that he would go to heaven...and a great understanding that JESUS loves him and died for his sins.(white slips) and God is actively involved in his life and wants to take his life and make is beautiful for the glory of God.

Lord God...take my son and protect him. Lord thank you so much for Christopher. I pray that he grows to be a man of great faith....I believe he will do and accomplish so much for you LORD...he has a wonderful spirit.

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers..
Your loving and thankful daughter, Krissy

Mark 16:15-20 And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved.....And these signs will accompany those who believe in my name they will cast out demons, they will speak in new tongues, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them, they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover. So then the LJC after he had spoken to them was taken up to heaven and sat down at the right hand of GOD...And they went out and preached everywhere while the LORD worked with them and confirmed the message by the accompanying signs.

Colassians 3:17

And whatever you do, in word or deed, so everything in the name of the LORD JESUS, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

August 17,2009

My friend/ fellow midwife Paula and I planned to go to DMC, Davao Medical Center, since it was my last day....neither of us had ever toured the facility but had the unfortunate experience of transporting several time to this place. And we both had this raw sensation left in our hearts after seeing a third world community hospital. When you enter the hospital, it is a swarm of people lined up along the halls in stretchers...it is pretty overwhelming to take in all at once....you feel like you are in a daze because all you see is faces and injuries.

I came into this place as more of a spectator....I wanted to captured on camera just a bit of what this hospital was like....but I really did not know how powerfully God was about to move. A very wonderful married couple, Len and Delmar Diercks, prayed over me the day before I left for the Philippines and told me that God had
God was going to do more than I could ever ask or imagine. At first when we walked into the ER we were semi-detached from everything...mostly because it was so overwhelming the sights and sounds...things we have never seen in the open before...

But without us even knowing better, Christ was guiding out every step...literally...we ended up in the pediatric ward first and somehow miraculously we ended up in the neonate area...

Let me just testify right now..that God is an awesome God....he guides those who are willing to just go.....in a short moment....he laid his hands on us and made our hands, our hearts one with His and He gave us spiritual eyes. Every turn we made or step we took there was another opportunity to minister and pray over the people there. ( I will go into specific details in the next blog)
It was so humbling to be used by HIM....With our physical eyes we were passing by and seeing so much suffering and sadness around us....but when we looked with the spiritual eyes..Oh How God just kept walking us through each moment and showing us the next person to lay hands on....the next baby to touch...the next mother to lift up in prayer. It was completely utterly amazing and spiritual. Isnt Jesus so wonderful...how he can take the sufferings of the world and turn them into opportunities to pour out mercy and peace and comfort.
I am reminded of the verse Is 61:3......God takes us and makes beauty from ashes! As a child of God we are so privelege to be able to walk in Christ.....and be called to carry passion and concern in our hearts for our fellow brother or sister...to be a powerful witness and demonstrator of HIS great love! The Holy Spirit guides us and leads us so that we are able to minister and be tangible vessels of love and healing. I walked away from this experience in complete awe...humble to the point of tears and awe.....Thank you Jesus...thank you for filling me with your SPIRIT so at the perfect time I am able to have an eternal connection with your child. I love you LORD. (Next blog I will get into the specifics of the people I encounter....but first I wanted to give GLORY TO GOD! WOW ! I am amazed DADDY! )
Lord continue this work in me.....help me to stay aware of you...and be aware of the deep spiritual needs of those around me. May I touch them with your hand....may they be healed in their hearts and in their bodies. Jesus....today I experienced some serious ACTS action! I saw people being healed and restored....I was able to understand a language I never heard before...WOW! Thank you JESUS!

Leaving this place!!

So I am sitting here at my computer in a birth room, just after transporting a woman fully dilated with breech presentation, and I think I am in AWE. I am so thankful to God for letting me have this experience...being apart of so many births and labors. It has been amazing. I am also spiritually energized....I have had the unique privelege of walking and being held by Jesus this past 6 weeks. I really couldnt have done this without Him...especially leaving my family. That was so difficult. Also when I was in intense births especially this last week with all my continuities...I so strongly felt Christ in me. I didnt sleep for over 60 hours from Sunday to Wednesday this week and everytime my friend Paula saw me she was just amazed and said how come you look for joyful Krissy...not just happy but you are radiating and joy is on your face. It really was not me she was seeing it was Jesus!

I felt so very supernatual help at some births that just amazed me and made me want to fall on my knees and thank the LORD. He really was present with me...and was helping me because he wanted to touch the life of these women and babies. Oh Lord THANK YOU SO MUCH.

A friend gave me a passage from Ephesians and I believe that this prayer was answered..."I keep asking that the God of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, the glorious father may give you the SPIRIT OF WISDOM AND REVELATION......

I felt that a lot during my times in the birth room...God speaking audibly to my heart and making his presence known to me so that I would be most useful in helping his precous daughters in labor.

IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING. acts 17:28 KJV

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Lord God thank you for walking with me on this journey. It was such a blessing to be found in you and to be wholly present with you and be intentional about serving those around me..help me to maintain this heart as I return home and help me to continue to grow in you as you edge off and smoothen all my rough areas.

TO God be the GLORY amen.Please portect me on my flight home and bless my family as I rejoin them.

An excerpt from Max Lucado, my favorite author and preacher, and his book It's Not About Me:

Moses asked to see it on Sinai....When Ezekiel saw it, he had to bow. It encircled the angels and starstruck the shepherds in the Bethlehem pasture. Jesus radiates it. John beheld it. Peter witnessed it on Transfiguration Hill. Christ will return enthroned in it. Heaven will be illuminated by it. ................GLORY....GOD's GLORY!

I really love this! You know the whole earth displays God's beautiful nature....His glory....rivers flow with water and give new life to plants and vitality to animals. Majestic mountians remind us of the grandiose and awesome hand and workmanship of God. (psalm 140)

How much more should His precious creation.....whom he made in His likeness.....YOU AND ME...display HIS GLORY....
Wow! He has called us forth above all the rest of his GLORIOUS creation to be HIS HANDS and FEET....to walk on this earth in the knowledge and love of JESUS....
How awesome this privelege to be apart of HIS PLAN.....to be able to pray to our CREATOR and for HIM to answer our weak voices...because of his great love for us and desire to be near to us....
Thank you Jesus.

Lord I love living with the knowledge of your greatness. I am humbled to be apart of your PLAN...I desire to be more like you and to be found in your presence..help me LORD everyday to find myself at your feet drinking from the river of life....taking in all that is possible...I love you LORD...help me to love you more and serve your people with un-faltering love and kindness.

I am beginning to grasp more and more the Lord's prayer....Lord give us this day our daily bread.

I think that we all currently live in an environment that if we need something we go out to the store and just buy it......we dont have needs..material needs. Just go to Walmart if you need something...you can find everything there, right? But with faith...we cannot just see our needs and quickly supply to our hearts and life all that it needs...We have to come daily to the table or Christ and be fed......
In our spiritual and personal relationship with God we have to learn to depend on Christ....to give us each day the provisions that we need. We have to go to God daily for he said he is the bread of life (John 6:35)

I have been thinking all day about one topic: Does everyone have that moment in life....where they unmistakably come face to face with God? I have seen so many broken and hurt people and I wondered....did they open their heart to receive the love of GOD....God is all around. I feel Him all the time....even in the craziest storm, the hardest of life's moments...HE is standing right there beside us all.....are you letting Him scoop you up and take care of you right now. Whateever great wall is between you and God I pray that it my crumble and you may be able to embrace HIS love...truly know that it is not like human love...it is so much more..and He will never hurt you with that love....only hold you beautifully in HIS arms...

I have a few people currently in my lfe that I am desperately praying for.....I want them to experience Christ....his enduring and wonderful love....How did they somehow see God as anything different than a loving father....a bright amazing illuminating presence of LOVE.....

Was it me? Was it one of my brothers or sisters in the LORD? Was it satan attacking them? How come you missed the loving touch of God? I feel that it is unmistakable and life changing...the instant He touches us we are no longer the same anymore.

Lord God, do those who struggle with faith think that Christians do not struggle and they do not sin and they do not have problems? I feel that distance between us sometimes.....Lord how can I be more of a reflection of your love......Lord i think my heart is breaking right now because I feel a great amount of urgency.....people do not have lots of time.....life can be cut short so quickly. Lord God I am so burdened and sad right now....could I please demonstrate my love to your children....could I please show them how much you desperately love them...but you have already....on the cross....right?

Lord I had a classmate die recently....and I do believe she was saved...she had such a pure heart..but her death makes me think of the reality of our situation here on earth.

I am often very busy with my goals and desires and I miss out on you...and just being with you... I want to have your eyes to see into the spirits and lives of those around me...that I may help them in any way in their faith journeys...especially those that have a really hard path in front of them.....I know life can be so devastating...and there is so much out there..other beliefs...indulgances...ect....but I know I know without a doubt...CHRIST is the ONLY ANSWER.

Lord I want to just be a part of KINGDOM work...and have eternity in my heart....have concern..deep concern and love for your children....for my family..for my friends...for my neighbors. Help me LORD...I lay down my life for them...really....Lord I dont want to be a martyr per-say...but I do not want to be afraid to be used of you...and sacrifice some small comforts in my life...for a greater good
SERIOUSLY is there any greater experience than to be able to have someone come to the FATHER....no..absolutely not!!!

Deep Understanding...hard lesson learned

Dearest Jesus,

In the past few days I was a bit curious where you were.....I was calling out your name....my heart was searching for your heart....and then I realized...you were calling me...but I was just not in the right room...barely even in the right house!

Oh Lord I have learned something so valuable from my time here in the Philippines. I have learned what it means to put 100 percent dependence on you.
When all is stripped away and I simply come...as the song goes.....when I am face to face with my Savior....it is so powerful! It is so awesome!
Lord you have given me the ability to experience human love......and have intense wonderful beautiful relationships......but in this place....the Philippines....you are showing me YOU.....and requiring of me to really look at you...really depend on you...and no one else.

We all have such an intense need to be loved. Proverb 19:22 states "What a man desires is unfailing love...better a poor man than a liar." We are created with a God shaped hole in our existence...that only he can fill....
WE all want to be loved....we all desire unconditional unwavering radical demonstrative love.....love that is deeper than any sea....love that is wider than any horizon....we yearn for it...we spend our entire life in search of it.
WE all want to be held and comforted and treasured.
We are created with this deep need...because God is the only one who can fill it.
Some of us, myself included though, are trying to fill that need with other things than GOD. Even our spouses, friends, kids cannot fill this void.....only GOD.
It seems that many of us are walking around this world...with this cup....all day long we walk around with this cup...this empty cup...begging and holding out this cup....please fill me...even a tablespoon will help?
What do you fill your cup up with on a daily basis....
But NO ONE PERSON will ever be able to fill up that cup.....ONLY GOD.
I have been learning this being stipped of my family ....my dear husband and precious baby boy....that I have to rely mor on GOD to fill me up more and more each day....
Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing lovefor i have put my trust in you shoe me the way i should go for to you i lift up my soul....
Wouldnt it be great if every morning you allowed God to fill your cup up to the brim....and anything or anyone else adding to your cup would then just be overflow of an already full cup....believe me...there really is nothing more wonderful than being in the presence of someone who has had their cup filled up by Jesus Christ alone....they are radiant....
Lord I know that is the lesson you are teaching me while I am here in the Philippines...
I am so blessed back home to surrounded with such wonderful family and friends...and I just hear you asking me....but are you still relying on me?
I have blessed you with a wonderful life and family and friends....but do you really trust me....
do you let me be the whole to fill you ....so you are not walking around with gapping holes.....
I see so many people walking around...trying to fill themselves with things that will not complete them....
In marriages I see wholly people trying to get by.....frustrated that their spouse does not fill them up...when they are incomplete because they have not fully trusted God and put their hope in His love....
I see people in addictions...trying to cram their holes full of momentary fillers....and really it is like poison because it only makes their holes bigger and wider...
I see people trying to fill their holes with money and work and personal successess.....and still running completely empty.

So I am thankful for this time in the Philippines Lord...for the lesson you are teaching me.....to fill up on you first everyday.....and everything else can just be overflow...
I depend on you to get me through...I am no promised tomorrow...oh how I am blessed with great family and friends but daily Lord I have to come to you and let you fill me and lead me and change me and mold me....
Continue Lord to break me and challenge me...I need to be only yours...
I have learned to depend on you more.....
When there is no usual comforts or "fixes" will you learn to turn to HIM....
Will you let Him fill you up...so that you are not lacking anything....and that you are not a frustrated individual walking on this earth angry for not having your needs met?
Lord I am a work in progress, but I think that I am learning this more and more everyday...to have all my trust and hope in you! Amen
Thank you Lord for the lessons...but Lord also really I do thank you and fall at my knees before you in gratitude for giving me such a beautiful life....a beautiful family...a wonderful future.....great friends.....thank you Father God for supplying all my needs.

Your daughter, Krissy

I feel the deep need to raise praises to the Lord....in this moment...in this time of my life. Lord may you not be forgotten especially when all your blessings surround me and your loving hand envelopes me, comforting and protecting me.

Psalm 149
1 Praise the LORD. [a]

Sing to the LORD a new song,

his praise in the assembly of the saints.
2 Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;

let the people of Zion be glad in their King.
3 Let them praise his name with dancing

and make music to him with tambourine and harp.
4 For the LORD takes delight in his people;

he crowns the humble with salvation.
5 Let the saints rejoice in this honor

and sing for joy on their beds.
6 May the praise of God be in their mouths

and a double-edged sword in their hands,
.
Psalm 150
1 Praise the LORD. [b]

Praise God in his sanctuary;

praise him in his mighty heavens.
2 Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing greatness.
3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,
4 praise him with tambourine and dancing,

praise him with the strings and flute,
5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD.

Dear Father, sometimes I am at a loss for words when I consider all that you have done for me. I am truly amazed at your deliverane and love. I want to do great things for you in your honor and for your glory....and yet sometimes I cannot even move or I do not even know how to give myself to you wholly. But Lord today I consider that I am not able to do anything for you....the only things that you desire is praise and devotion.

So Lord to you I commit myself with all my faults and all my wounds..I humbly come to you for salvation and healing. I love you Lord. I see you more and more....and find you in my heart, growing and transforming me...thank you Lord...creator of the whole world and my dear beloved Daddy....I have nothing to offer you but PRAISE....I love you.

1 Praise the LORD. [a]

Praise the LORD from the heavens,

praise him in the heights above.
2 Praise him, all his angels,

praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
3 Praise him, sun and moon,

praise him, all you shining stars.
4 Praise him, you highest heavens

and you waters above the skies.
5 Let them praise the name of the LORD,

for he commanded and they were created.
6 He set them in place for ever and ever;

he gave a decree that will never pass

away.
7 Praise the LORD from the earth,

you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
8 lightning and hail, snow and clouds,

stormy winds that do his bidding,
9 you mountains and all hills,

fruit trees and all cedars,
10 wild animals and all cattle,

small creatures and flying birds,
11 kings of the earth and all nations,

you princes and all rulers on earth,
12 young men and maidens,

old men and children.
13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,

for his name alone is exalted;

his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.
14 He has raised up for his people a horn, [b]

the praise of all his saints,

of Israel, the people close to his heart.

Praise the LORD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q I love this video, please watch it while contemplating the father heart of God...how much he desires us and love us and adores us....if you have never experienced this type of love...or are seeking it with all your heart...please rest in this...The Creator of the universe passionately pursues you and loves you and desires that you may find comfort in His love...so much so he gave his life so that you may live! Amen.I promise human love can never begin to define this amazing love story....this amazing chase He is on to capture your heart and spend the rest of eternit showing you how much he loves you and wants to bless you! If you have been hurt before with love, please know that he will heal all wounds through His amazing gift of love...Let Him tell you who you are...find your identity in Him, blessed child of the most High God....please begin to grasp the depth and width of His love...and be healed and set free~ You are God's and forever he will sustain you and love you and keep you! See you in heaven blessed and loved one!

Lord God I thank you for this day! I had this moment today....and I realized how faithful you are to me. You set this dream in my heart to go to the Philippines and to become a midwife over 3 years ago. And now I am here! Wow! Lord you are amazing. Lord I thought that I would have so much time with you while I am here, I mean I thought that I would encounter this revelations upon revelation thing so that I may begin writing a book or devotional. I feel that I am not able to do that currently.....but you know I am also sensing you are so near to me. I dont not hear alot of profound things come out when I am seeking you or waiting for you....i guess in the way that I am expecting...but I do sense your presence..all around me enveloping me and protecting me. I just hear you saying softly, I love you Krissy..cant you see that? Do not wait to hear anything else but this right now! Because after I fill you and you experience more of my love, I will then pour out onto you revelations and prophesies and blessings beyond your imagination or dreams. Thank you Lord....I was than reminded of the chapters in first corinthians (one of the students here also talked about this)
Paul is talking to the Corithians about them being given gifts..to teach to prophesy to speak in tongues and to heal....but he continues to go on and say..but if you have no love.....which I think means...if you have not fully grasped the love of God on your own and you do not freely give love to all....then those gifts are nothing. I thank you for the gifts you have given me Lord and I pray to use them for your glory....but more than that I want to know your love more and more and want to learn more and more how to share that love with others.
Today I was walking in Davao with a friend. We saw a small Catholic church and it reminded me of Mexico. Anyways, across the way I saw a old lady sitting in her little store. She was smiling at me. I went over to take to her a little. Kumusta ka?
She asked me where I was from and said her sister lived in the US. She also said that she was all alone there. Just her and her store. My heart instantly broke. I have recently been reading a lot of material about our obligation and call and God's heart for the widow and the fatherless......I took her hand and just held it for a moment...I actually didnt know what to say since my Cebuano is not that good....but I thought Lord in this moment let her feel your love...when I squeezed her hand she smiled so big and I saw a spark in her eye and I saw what seemed to be a tear forming. I think that she had not been touched by another human being in a long time. I was so fortunate to be in that moment with her. I know I did not do much, but in that moment I felt God's heart and God's love in my heart...pouring onto her hands like a sweet fragrant oil that was somehow soothing her lonely soul. I really am sharing this not to esteem myself and I pray that it does not come off that way.....LORD GOD, let me be your hands and feet! Lord let me touch your children and let them in a small way...be touched by their Creator and Savior through me.
I guess more than anything it was a lesson to me. The biggest lesson I am learning here is that we are called as Christians to be the tangible extension of HIS LOVE. WE are to love and love and love some more. We are to allow God to fill us up for that when we go out we will pour out his love onto his hurting children. Lord help me come to you more...to be filled so that I can fill your children up! Lord please come to me and make yourself more and more real to me that I am make you more real by my human touch...i know that I am a broken vessel and I am a sinful person..but thank you for letting me physically touch someone.
Let them experience you through me Lord. Help me to be a more perfected vessle to do so...continue your work on me Lord. You know my heart and you know I want to serve. Let me be a servant for you and help make me more like you and less like my old nature. I love you Jesus!

I only have a quick message or pressing on my spirit right now that I want to share. Fatigue has gotten me today...so I need to just go to bed. Hopefully at my dreams will soothe me and comfort me.....and refresh me...

So I started reading "grand weaver" by Ravi Zacharis and something he said really hit me...
it is something I need to hear but I also believe that it will minister to anyonw else who reads it..I pray it gives you comfort.

"More and more when something terrible happens we declare OH THATS LIFE as though DISAPPOINTMENT and HEARTACHE declare the sum total of this existence......."

I really wanted to think about this and meditate on this....am I one of those people that lets the disappointments and burdens overshadow all the good...all the blessings...and the wonderful moments of life, marriage, my work, my family, ect.
Lord I pray I am less and less guilty of this as I grow in my faith and relationship with you because I know that life is not about the lows....but is about the highs....the blessings in the LORD.

Recently I was able to go in a little PIPER plane with a friend and my family...I have to confess, I thought that Iowa was not that beautiful....if you have seen one corn field...you have seen them all.....but as we were flying up 2000 feet (correct me if I am wrong) in the air, I was in complete awe. Wow. Iowa was gorgeous! Is gorgeous! I saw Clear Lake and was stunned at how big the lake looked and had fun watching all the people in their boats and everything....................

So after this experience in the air...it hit me...sometimes we just need to rise above our circumstance...sometimes we just need a different perspective...
to change our attitude we have to change our altitude! We have to look heavenward or we need to ask the LORD ALMIGHTY to lift us up so that we can have the correct perspective.

I found a few verse in Philippians to further state my point if I have failed to do so thus far.................

Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable. If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.....

Lord I ask you that you will not let me loose sight of YOU and the good things that you have produced in my life or the blessings you have given me.
I do not want to diminish my existence by getting consumed with what isnt right......or what offends me...or what hurts me....

Because as the LORD says...in this world you will have many troubles...but take heart daughter, son I have overcome the world......

SO if you are struggling and if you are distracted by the things that are not going well in your life...or you want to give up....or you have forgot how much HE LOVES YOU....please TAKE HEART BELOVED....he wants to pour into you new life, a new spirit.......

Nothing is impossible for GOD...I strongly believe in restoration and hope!
HE can mend a broken heart, a broken family, a broken person, a broken body, a broken marriage....all of this HE IS ABLE.....TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

So beloved dont get downcast by the occasional rain storm but take heart in the warmth of the sunshine....it has yet to cease rising everyday and kiss you on your face....so have faith!

May you know the LOVE of your creator and savior...may you experience comfort in HIM...and it is okay to let go of whatever you are struggling with....give it to him...he will carry you and all your burdens...he loves you and just wants to be with you......so I pray you will have spiritual eyes to see this and know that in time and with GOD.....you hope will equal restoration very soon....

I love you! Amen!

I felt that the Spirit was not done with me...so I feel that I need to keep write as he ministers to my spirit...and so that I may in any way help a child in need.....

The next passage He gave me...Jeremiah 18:
The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord...ARISE, and go down to the potter's house and there I will let you hear my words. So I went down to the potters house and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was makikng of clay was SPOILED IN THE POTTERS HAND and he reworked it into ANOTHER VESSEL, as it seemed good to the POTTER TO DO!
Then the word of the LORD came to me, O house of ISRAEL..krissy, CAN I NOT DO THIS WITH YOU as this potter does?

Lord what do you require of me in all aspects of my life...my heart has been burdened....I want to honor you in all I do....and in the recent month I have experience SO NEW and wonderful but I want to be in your hands. I want everything to be molded as you desire....take the vessel of my life...and more importantly of my heart and make it as you desire....
I know there is something amazing going to come of all this.....LORD help me to have wisdom...like SOLOMON...that is the thing I desire above all else.....a wise and discerning heart and mind.

Here is a song I heard while typing this message for someone I feel that has been striving...too much...relax in the LORD...know that he is GOD....and that he desires to just comfort you and be with you.....and he loves you....dear child how he loves you...let him hold you and love you....you can find yourself in no better place than that!

Tenth Avenue North - By Your SideFrom the album Over And Underneath
Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face Just don't turn awayWhy are you looking for love? Why are you still searching? As if I'm not enough? To where will you go child, Tell me where will you run? To where will you run?Chorus:Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall In the dead of night whenever you call Please don't fight these hands that are holding you My hands are holding youLook at these hands, at my side They swallowed the grave, on that night When I drank the world's sin So I could carry you in And give you lifeChorus:Here at my side wherever you fall In the dead of night whenever you call Please don't fight these hands that are holding you My hands are holding you And I, I love you And I want you to know That I, I'll love youChorus:

First of all, Jason sent me this wonderful picture of Christopher. He found his Jeep in the basement of Bryan and Cherie's house (my in laws) and was apparently thrilled...and just like daddy he had lots of work to do to it since it hadnt had an oil change....and such for a while....isnt he the most adorable sight in the world! I love you Christopher....I cry because I miss you so much...but your heart is so pure and your spirit is so wonderful! I love you baby.

Another great story that Jason shared with me was that Christopher has been asking Grandparents to pray for him,me and daddy. Jason said, "it is so wonderful becuase he really has an understanding of GOD....Lord how you have blessed me with this little life.....every smile, every tear, every memory, every moment with him I see you. Lord also thank you for the wonderful time I was able to spend with him before my departure....it was so amazing watching him grow and learn and make wonderful friends...he loves Matthias and Isaac, our dear friends' kids, he just lights up around them...so thank you for providing for him...even though he does not have his own siblings at this time...thank you for giving him friends (Kacey, Ethan and Ezra too of course) to bless him and to give him companionship!!!!!!! Also my mom's girls too...they are a blessing to him and to me...more like sisters than aunts...hehe!

So I was praying and asking God to give me a verse or verses for this journey I am on..........

Isaiah 61 :

THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME (AMEN), because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound......61:1



Lord God I thank you that you call each of us to be your reflection, your hands, your feet...i know I fall short everyday....but I give you my life ...to touch and reach others physically and spiritually.....I do not have to go to the Philippines to do so.....you have given me opportunities in my neighborhood...in my community...as JABEZ prayed Lord continue to expand my territory...and help me to seek you so much that I may never doubt the work set before me...and send me more brothers and sisters in Christ to share in this journey....Thank you for those your have sent into my life especially most recently...I see the ministry you are calling me into through them....and it is so good to be lifted up by your children....

Lord a prayer that I have is that you may make me a minister of the GOSPEL...I really want ot be in ministry.....(i know those of you who are devote Christians will say...you already..are but)....I have been in the presence of someone very inspiring recently.....he is a pastor and he just went through something very dificult..the death of one of his confirmation students...a precious beauty....and he was so completely present with her family and her.....and I just yearned to be there too. I wanted to be apart of that type of ministry....giving of myself endlessly....pouring out into the lives of others emotionally and just being with those who need me....Lord I desire this so much...please open a door so I may walk through this....may I enter into a ministry like this or be a part of someone elses minsitry.....holding them up in prayer and support and love and comfort. This has really been on my heart recently...my spirit aches for this type of experience and calling....thank you Lord for the example of his life you have given me to see....really see what it takes....(and also Lord please fill him, pastor Derik, up!)

As Isaiah continues......

to give them a beautiful headress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and garment of praise instead of faint spirit.................61:3b

Again Lord may I be an instrument of healing and restoration on this journey in the Philippines, and in Clear Lake Ia my current home, and whereever you send me next.....LORD make me a vessel...a vessel that you have perfectly carved for your perfect will for the redemption and restoration of all those I encounter.....I want to bring out the beauty in those that feel they have none, I want to bring joy to those who are grieving loss in any form in their lives, and I want to help the faint....stand and walk beside....and even carry them on my back if they need that......Lord and I do not take any credit for this if you allow me to follow this calling......because only in You may I direct them in the way of life, health, peace, renewal, restoration, healing........................

And another word from Isaiah that I ask for my own life................

"that they (I) may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified....." 61:3c



Lord as I am writing this I am feeling your Spirit and it excites me thank you LORD for coming to me...for putting your hand on me....let your words spill out as I type...Lord thank you thank you thank you...fill me Lord.....llena me Senor con su Espiritu.....llena me...da me tu voz...da me tu Espiritu....dame mas Senor.....I want to overflow with you....dame me poder....Dios todo que yo hizo es para ud....y todo en ti....Te Amo...y te doy mi vida...usame....Padre Te amo....

A Literal DREAM come true.........

I have dreamt of coming to the Philippines for so long.......and now I am here! I am living in expectancy!

Here are some verses that I am claiming of David's.

Psalm 143:5 I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the works of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; MY SOUL thirsts for you like a parched land.....8) let me hear in the morning your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I LIFT UP MY SOUL. ......

Lord God I am desperate for more of you while I am here in the Philippines. I stand before you strip of all my comforts and my loved ones...and I do not regret this choice...but Lord I want to know you more and more...I want to experience you like never before. Walk with me Lord. Teach me and mold me more than ever before. I submit this time to you to do a great work in me....despite myself and my shortcomings.

Lord let me keep all things that you give to me in its purest form....let me see it for the beautiful creation you have created it to be...and let me not taint or distort. I love that you provide for me all my needs...that you bring things and people into my life to bless me so much. Let me take hold of those things and let me give you honor and glory.

I am already sensing some lonliness....Lord direct me and help me pull through....help me to be captivated by your heart and find my peace and love in you alone.

Lord I want nothing more than to come home.....shining in radiance because I have been with my creator....let me be used....help me to be a true servant and to not miss any opportunities.

Thank you for this time...with you Lord....thank you for the time to be with you.

In you I put my whole heart, my whole being, Krissy your daughter who desperately wants to be found in you!

Some beautiful pictures of the mountains in Colorado!

Lord God I feel amazingly alive right now! Lord I have this sense that you are preparing me for something....that you are calling me to something higher...different...something that will require complete dependence on you. Lord I will heed your word and I will answer the call...like Isaiah said....Lord..here am I Send me!

I just wanted to have a picture of my beautiful husband and son on my blog...so whenever I miss them I can come to this site and see their angelic faces! I wish I could bottle up their hugs and kisses and being them with me to the Philippines!

Lord protect them and love on them a little extra while I am gone!

I found this picture on the website of the ministry I will be joining in the philippines! Wow! Lord only 7 more days and I will be serving the women there....help me show them your mercy and kindness in a real tangible way. I pray for beautiful gentle births! Amen!

Traffic.....

Today I went up to the cities for a day of fun with my son...in prepartion mentally for my departure in less than 2 weeks to the philippines....i just wanted to create a great memory for the both of us!!!It was very successful...he is so wonderful!

I had a God moment on the way back....

As we drove home after a long day together, I noticed the traffic starting to back up....until no further than ten minutes from the cities we were at a dead stop. My husband had called us already numerous times asking about our estimated time of arrival home...I was anxious to see him!
I was getting increasingly impatient, frustrated.....at this inconvenience! I was ready to go home and this traffic was preventing that! Add another 1 onto the trip I said to myself! Someone was trying to get into my lane....ugh....more frustrated! I just want to get home...I have things to do!!! Important things! Cant these people just move faster....why are there so many people on the road!!!!!I just wanna get where I am going and be done....go to bed...relax on the couch...study for a test...sit with my husband....anything but this!!!!!!!!!!!!
But then it hit me.....wow!!!!People are not inconveniences......life is not an inconvenience...traffic could be slowed up because there was an accident.....or maybe a funeral...or something...that deserves more attention than I do and my stupid list of things I would like to be doing other than sitting in traffic!!!!!!!!!
In my faith Lord am I like this.....................when life stops...I mean, my exact plan or intention for the day......am I quick to get angry or frustrated.....do i take time to consider what the delay might be and that it might be for a better or greater reason than what I was doing or planning on doing.....................
And in regards to people....do I truly have a heart of compassion....to take a minute from my selfishness and say....there are people bumper to bumper with me every second of my life...also going somewhere....am i concerned where they are going and how they are getting there....do i have companions on this journey daily and do i lend a hand, an ear or anything........or am i too consumed with me!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord thank you for traffic......thank you for making me gear down sometimes....put on the breaks a little....get real close with other people.....be aware of the emergencies and accidents that are happening around me.....thanks for just making me HAVE TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord I love you so much....i love your children so much too!
May I go about my day with your eyes....your focus and your love..........
I want to be a person of influence.....not memorable by name...but action and love.....let me help people...really....let me seek you and know you more!
As Solomon asked for wisdom.............Lord I ask for revelation.....to see into people's lives....their eyes and their hearts....let me be an instrument of love.............I want to be a prophet....not one bellowing out judgment....but words of hope and inspiration...........by something I say or write or do...let even one....come to know you more fully! I love you Lord! Amen!

Another amazing revelations I had.................we all go through a lot here on earth.....we experience our share of valleys...but why if now today as a Christian I can live in eternity.....with eternity in mind...with the understanding that I am a daughter of the most high GOD.....why do i have to experience these valleys...............
well...i figured it out!!!!!!Thank you Jesus..............when we are in the valley we can so much better grasp and comprehend the height and depth of our Daddy's love! when we are that low....we can see how far he reaches down to touch us and lift us up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Amen!

Today I was greatly humbled....I miss alot of opportunities for God....I read about a friend today caught in sin, so entrenched it doesnt seem that she might see it as so, and my even saying this I would be considered a Bible thumper...but no! I had no words of hate or anger or insult or judgement....but tears! I just cried for her and cried for a missed opportunity with her...that is what pains me the most..my failure...AS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD...to have failed her in this way! In middle school we were great friends and even had the opportunity for her to come to a camp...not to convert her but to hope and pray that she might see the immense love of Christ through me and my church and my friends...but I must have not been strong enough of an influence...I am so sorry God. When I saw her today and her video..my heart ached so badly, I felt that pain that you feel when your children are not with you..oh how you love each one of us and we ALWAYS turn away from you in small ways and big ways. take the offense away LORD. Please intervene mightily and let me not be a noddle Christian..let me be a great light for YOU!
Anotehr video...........http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMrAafe7Mns
Lord i dont want to be the type of person that just sits on my life/rescue boat and floats by drowning people...No LORD use me LORD and let the world be changed in small ways because of me NO because of YOU working through your small child, me! AMEN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQaolD8FCwQ
This is another amazing video...just spend the 4 minutes loving on God with this song of praise.
Lord I am so amazed by you. Lord I have been feeling a heavy burden of guilt in the last few weeks. I am continually reminding myself of all the wrongs I have done. I know it is not you....because at the Cross you took care of it all....but when I have this spirit of conviction and guilt, I feel so undeserving and SO AMAZED! You did this for me even when I did that and this! WOW!
Lord I have a heavy heart for another matter as well. I know Lord there are so many people out there hurting and suffering silently. They are crying out....I see it in their faces sometimes. How does one live a life without the knowledge of you. Lord help me to be the instrument to bring to light the GOOD NEWS of your love. Christians so often times, either by bringing on themselves or having the title placed on them, are looked at as judgers and worse. Lord we are supposed to be the light of the WORLD. Oh truly LORD I ask you to help me be light! Help me be love! Help me be joy. Help me be peace!
I know what you have brought into my life...all of those things. And so much more! Lord I know that you cry for your children everyday to come back to you....you so dearly want to hold them in your arms again! You so much want to love on them. Your heart breaks for them.
But your love is so extraordinary that you also gave your children choice! You let us choose our paths dont you!
Oh Jesus! I love you so much! I see you when I was just a small child....you have always watched over me and I have never felt any thing more strongly in my life than your love...I am so appreciative of that! I have never been alone. I pray for those who right now feel alone....children, He is waiting for you! I feel it in my heart how much His heart is ACHING to hold you!
Lord, tomorrow let me see your children as you do...send me Lord! let me be an instrument of Love and healing! let them see YOU through me!!!You have a lot of work to do in me LORD..I have so many cracks and dents.....but if for only one person....let me be a resource for YOU!
LORD I claim also on this day my son....his salvation....He loves you already LORD but help him to grasp onto you always....
Thank you Lord for good and new friendships......Jamie and Derick....Katie and Ben....also for those others I am getting to know....sister and brothers in Christ.....Dena and Bryce, Jamie and Paul. Thank you for this mission field....Clear Lake IA and for introducing me to the workers you already have here!
Thank you for my wonderful Husband too! He is working so hard! Bless him!
Protect challenge enlighten break fix help strengthen mold me in the Philippines!

Jesus Bring the RAIN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU
Well it has been refreshing these past few days with the rain. It is so much more welcomed than the snow and freezing weather. And it has brought so much life, hasnt it! To me and to the grass!
Child, dont you know that He loves you, he awaits the day to embrace you. He wants to pour upon you His love and blessings. I pray that we can be broken for HIM, humbled and accepting of the perfect gift! Lord I am praying that I may be joyful. I want to be insanely joyful that people will look at me and see radiance.....not of myself but from the true source of all hope life and joy! .
I realize no one has read these yet but I am writing them from my heart, out of conviction for someone who may one day read.....bless them LORD!

HILLSONG...lets praise and worship....with everthing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY

This is a beautiful song that I am singing to my LORD.
Verse 1:This is my prayer in the desertAnd all that's within me feels dryThis is my prayer in the hunger in meMy God is a God who providesVerse 2:And this is my prayer in the fireIn weakness or trial or painThere is a faith provedOf more worth than goldSo refine me Lord through the flamesChorus:And I will bring praiseI will bring praiseNo weapon forged against me shall remainI will rejoiceI will declareGod is my victory and He is hereVerse 3:And this is my prayer in the battleAnd triumph is still on it's wayI am a conqueror and co-heir with ChristSo firm on His promise I'll standBridge:All of my lifeIn every seasonYou are still GodI have a reason to singI have a reason to worshipVerse 4:This is my prayer in the harvestWhen favor and providence flowI know I'm filled to be empited againThe seed I've recieved I will sow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbrL64Ujb1c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZBPD-T20t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMqddilXO68
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSCE8uLuTJY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOY0mjjmx8Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOY0mjjmx8Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYeNfXpZ0pU

I added these so that you could just sing your FATHER....I am going to post this and them I am going to honor my father with words of praise....bless all you.

Blessed to be a blessing......

I am here in El Paso with my son Christopher and husband Jason. I really miss this place but since our departing a lot has changed. The saddest change is how unreachable Mexico seems to be. We were hoping and praying to be able to go ino Mexico but everyone begged us not to for, most importantly, Christopher's sake. But my heart is short of breaking for the kids over there. It hit me really hard yesterday when I was humbly reminded that I came from the town. I was in a foster home/orphanage in Cuidad Juarez 25 years ago. Without sharing too many difficult details, Jason and I sadly found out that the orphanage that we used to go to every weekend last year suddenly was shut down and the children were placed elsewhere. I want to cry....I do cry.....because I don't know if they are being cared for and loved as much as they were. The people that were there really truly loved them. Now, I just wonder...are they scared, afraid.... Jason and I never felt able or ready to adopt any of them, but we knew that many of them were going to get adopted to wonderful families in the US or mexico....Where those adoptions completed before they shut down the orphanage? I pray so.....Lord God please put your hand of protection on their lives, each one that you love and adore. I know Lord that no matter what happens in life, when you are stripped of everything...truly He still stands beside you!!!
I pray and hope for the day I will see each one of those angels in Heaven and maybe sooner.

We have been blessed to be able to go to spring convention at Abundant Living Faith Center this week. Wow! It is so beautiful and literally heavenly worshipping with 6000 other people who love the Lord. Also nightly the pastors have an altar call......the best thing in the world to experience and be apart of is when a child of God experiences and embraces HIS love for the first time and accepts them as SAVIOR.

My prayer when returning home from this wonderful trip is that I will be more aware of God's voice. That my heart will beat with HIS heart and I will follow His leading more each day. I really want others to see Jesus in me and nothing else. I want people to experience HIS love through me....help me lord to do this more.
I thank God for bringing my family together for this time in the LORD.....AMEN

I am reading the Shack(WM paul young) which my younger sister Hope let me borrow for a few days.....WOW! It is one of my dreams one day to write a riveting passionate book like this one....it is so raw. The experience of losing someone so precious as a child would really break anyone....though I have not finished reading the novel...this is a story about restoration and hope.
Its also just is a great reminder about how God is waiting to meet with us...passionately waiting for the time.....to sit eat and talk with us (Rev 3:20)He loves you so much.

Have you heard the song HELD by Natalie Grant

Two months is too littleThey let him goThey had no sudden healingTo think that providenceWould take a child from his motherWhile she prays, is appallingWho told us we'd be rescuedWhat has changed andWhy should we be saved from nightmaresWere asking why this happens to usWho have died to live, it's unfairThis is what it means to be heldHow it feels, when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be loved and to knowThat the promise was that when everything fellWe'd be heldThis hand is bitternessWe want to taste it andLet the hatred numb our sorrowsThe wise hand opens slowlyTo lilies of the valley and tomorrowThis is what it means to be heldHow it feels, when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be loved and to knowThat the promise was that when everything fellWe'd be heldIf hope if born of sufferingIf this is only the beginningCan we not wait, for one hourWatching for our saviorThis is what it means to be heldHow it feels, when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be loved and to knowThat the promise was that when everything fellWe'd be held[Repeat Chorus]

It is amazing the suffering that we will endure as travelers on this journey called LIFE. But we have a promise from the Father above that we will be held, loved,rocked, and cared for during those great times of pain.
I hold this promise closely in my heart that when I go through something painful and hard...I have SOMEONE who will be there for me...and loves me so much that he died for me....he is ready to cry with me and hold me when it is just to much for me ...

I hope that you will be encouraged in this....I know it is hard dear friends to go through this struggle in your life....but you are not alone and the LORD GOD loves you so much he is waiting for you with arms open wide to pour his love on you.

Lord I lift your children up to you, Estrella, Christian, Alfredo, Sergio, Marcus, and all the precious children of Casa. I pray for your protection and healing.Dont be afraid. The father will never leave you or abandoned you. Jesus te ama y quiere compartir eternidad contigo. Y nada o nadie puede separarte de el amor de Dios. Ten fe! Cada dia digo una oracion para ustedes. Te amo.
Here is a song I am trying to learn on the guitar...it is a great worship song....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_08pM0fXxE
please spend a few minutes in reverent worship for your Creator and Savior.

Tune your guitar

The Guitar Tuning Site

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWxflUIOl7Y
Please watch this video. I will be finishing my LPN training this May before my 26th birthday. Then I plan to go to the Philippines to further my midwifery training. I am so excited as to how God is opening doors and working in my life.
Jason is also pursuing nursing school next fall. I m so amazed at him. He is a constant blessing.
A sermon I heard on the radio the other day may be think deeply about how I am loving him and my son:

1 corinthians 13

Love is having deep and solid faith in the good intentions and wishes of God on that person's life...

Love is never doubting the good intentions that God has for the furtures of those around us...our family, our nation and our selves...As we love one another we are creating the opportunity for God to work in and through us...

I am praying for revival in Mason City and Northern Iowa. I am so excited that people are truly seeking Christ. Lord let me be the voice that speaks your truth in love and with power of conviction.

A journey of faith videos

Go to tv.cityonahillproductions.com. These are amazing theatrical/cinematic illustrations about how passionately God is pursuing each one of us...how great is His love...and the price He paid to bring us HOME.....do you know that God love the world so much that He gave it all..His only son. I have an only Son......Christopher....it would be hard for me to see him leave me....but God was that desperate for us....He would rather die than spend another day without us...how amazing. God may you touch our hearts and minds today....I confess my love to you today....Thank you for taking this broken sinful child and making me a queen in your sight. Bless all the people of the world....let me be the hands and feet that bring the MESSAGE of your love for each of them.

Because we all need His eyes to see the world in all its true beauty...

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes From the album What If We
Look down from a broken sky Traced out by the city lights My world from a mile high Best seat in the house tonight Touch down on the cold black top Hold on for the sudden stop Breath in the familiar shock Of confusion and chaos All those people going somewhere Why have I never cared Chorus Give me your eyes for just one second Give me your eyes so I can see Everything that I keep missing Give me your love for humanity Give me your arms for the broken hearted The ones that are far beyond my reach Give me you heart for the ones forgotten Give me your eyes so I can see Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Step out on a busy street See a girl and our eyes meet Does her best to smile at me To hide what's underneath There's a man just to her right Black suit and a bright red tieToo ashamed to tell his wife He's out of work, He's buying time Chorus I’ve been here a million times A couple of million eyes Just move and pass me by I swear I never thought that I was wrong I need a second glance Give me a second chance To see the way you’ve seen the people all along Chorus