2013....a new adventure

What are the dreams that I am expecting for while living this next year 2013 with my beautiful family?

1. Jason and I both successfully added a few more LETTERS to the end of our names....which was something we worked hard for.....and now with those in place we are excited to go forth into the MISSION FIELD that GOD has for us.
- we are praying about a few different ministries:
Africa Inland Missions
Mercy Maternity Center
YWAM- Mission Builders
Pantano Christian Church Outreach Team- Local and Abroad
Gap MInistries
Good 360
TEEN MISSIONS!!!YAY!

2.I struggled with not having Christopher homeschooled or in a Christian school....but now that he is at a  public school.....I need to exhort him, encourage him and stand behind him in praying realizing that is his mission field and everyday ask him.....Christopher what will you do at school for JESUS today????


3. EMPLOYMENT!!!!WE want the way in which we make money to glorify God. We definitely accepted positions at first because we had to...we had to feed out kids and get a house to raise our kids....but now our time at work has to be spent doing what God wants us to do....and I have seen that unfolding in the past few weeks and months...

4. Generosity and Finances! We want our monies to be  focused on the right things. We need to be responsible and intentional with everything that God gives us.
God lets us keep 90 percent of all that we earn...he only asks for 10 percent. CRAZY. Lets use that 90 percent to honor God and the 10 percent to TRUST in his plans.
AMEN.

So I dont really have any resolutions.

I will be celebrating my 10th anniversary with my beloved rose this year (inside joke) He is adorable. He puts up with a lot from me....hes a great dad.....I love this life we have together...and I think 2013 is going to be great....2012 we really worked out some things and turned that corner into a more mature agape relationship.....still have those puppy love instincts...but our depth of love and commitment has GROWN SO Much in the last year. Thank you God for breathing new life!!!!

BUT I think that is what I want to work on the most.....being a better wife and better mom....I have so vicious DEMONS in my past.....sometimes things I do and say.....are horrible....I could point fingers and blame bad parenting/ lack of parenting and years of abuse and neglect on my actions.....but I know that I need to GIVE those things to GOD.....andbe more intentional with my love!!!!!!!!!HELP me.Shut my mouth when I need to shut my mouth. Give me patience when I have none. Give me love that is from YOU. Bless my husband and children and grow in their hearts despite my shortcomings and failures to reflect your love 100 percent of the time.

Oh yeah and I still need to lose weight.....ugh!!!!!!!!!!!
But I am resolved to work on the spiritual first then the physical....hehe! (dont call me lazy! hehe!)

TobyMac - Me Without You (Official Lyric Video)

As 2012 winds down and the season of Christmas appraoches, Ive been contemplating where I am in relation to the will of God. Where has 2012 brought me in relation to God and the work that he is doing in this world.
I feel like this year has been quite amazing and challenging. I think I have evolved and grown in ways I never have before this year. My highlights of this year definitely been the following:
1. Jason GRADUATED nursing school and is now a nurse with a great job and a new look at himself.
2. Our daughter turned 1 years old can walk and sign language.( I understand how important that truly is being that I work with kids all day long that cannot do these things)
3. Christopher led a boy to the LORD at school
4. Christopher led 10 or more people to the LORD on our mission trip this summer to fairs.
5. I passed NARM and have a CPM now which will allow me to be a midwife missionary as God allows.
6. Moved to TUCSON and love the church and community He has brought us to.

I am always PASSIONATELY PURSUING....some may say Im OVERZEALOUS, impulsive, and a little CRAZY......and I would concur....I love adventure and learning something new.....I love feeling God presence in my life and see how He is working.....I love thinking of ways to serve and be the FEET.......

I think I am now unfolding some plans that God has for me that is beyond what I had planned to do for God....for instance...Ive been pursuing my midwifery degree for a long time...now God has blessed me and I have my CPM.....so I hear him saying to me now....Krissy I gave you your hearts desire and I love that you want to serve me as a midwife....but maybe...just maybe I would also like to use you in other ways to touch and help my children....are you on board with that too......I would like to show you my ideas...what do you think???I love how wonderful God is.....how much he loves me and gently guides me...
Anyways.....so this TOBY MAC song is my ANTHEM for 2012....I also love this song because my little lexi loves to dance to this song so it is special for that reason...
HERES TO THE CONTINUED JOURNEY WITH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Krissy, his kiddo!

SIN! Such an ugly word...destoyer of spirits

I greatly offended a friend today and I am praying for her forgiveness. I do not deserve it. I goofed up in more than one way and now have to face natural consequences to my stupid choices. But what most hurts my spirit...wow, once you surrender to God how strong conviction is.....I havent felt it this strong in a long time......I cant do anything but pray and hope for forgiveness. I have ruined my witness with her. I know that breaks God heart that my sin has caused her to maybe doubt.......I keep feeling awful because I am thinking she is thinking.......THAT IS WHY I dont have much to do with God.....because his followers are hypocrites and hurtful. OUCH. I pray for restoration Lord. I am so sorry for sinning against your child.

I feel like Paul today. (Saul).  He persecuted Christians and God still ended up using him as one of the most predominant apostles of the NT. God is amazing how he works...he uses some of the most messed up people to do his work...why? Because we dont want to be able to brag how great we are or what we did......we know we couldnt have done those things on our own...in our own sinful nature......only God can do those miracles in and through us despite all our ugly sinfulness.....
WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS..the Bible says.......

So despite greatly disappointing a friend today and sinning against her....God used me today (and my family) to bring a young woman to the LORD......God created a divine appointment with me and her in the bookstore.......It went from a casual shopping trip to a collision of two lives effecting all of eternity....wow! Thanks God!

Jesus and Politics

I never have a problem talking about Jesus and my faith...because I dont feel like my intentions would be to offend anyone when I share the wonderful things that God has done in my life...but when it comes to politics....I usually dont comment because I feel I will definitely offend someone...but I am working this out in my head.....who does a Christian vote for this year???Advice, comments, scriptures, anything would be appreciative.......(knowing I am not really deep in politics)....I find myself confused about who to vote for in this year's upcoming presidential elections; a Mormon(theology is a bit different than christainity) in Mitt Romney or a professed Christian in Obama who is for abortion and gay marriage.
Many Christians have expressed reservations toward Romney because of his Mormon beliefs, which some describe as a "cult" falling outside mainstream Christianity. Yet the former Massachusetts governor has affirmed that he is pro-life and supports the traditional definition of marriage as between one man and one woman only.
On the other hand, President Obama has persistently described himself as a Christian. His recent endorsement of gay marriage, however, and his attempts to force religious institutions to offer insurance coverage for contraceptives, have put him at odds with many conservatives.
I am trying to figure which choice will best represent biblical values and what the Bible has to say.
LET ME LASTLY SAY, WHOEVER BECOMES PRESIDENT....I will honor and respect and PRAY for that man....AND I am so thankful to be an AMERICAN...have the rights thatI have and the opportunities I have....I dont thinkit does much good to complain about the situation of our country...if I dont have something in mind to contribute.....like volunteering in my community, raising God honoring kids, being a good wife and citizen, encouraging others in doing good for their community and environment, ect.....

Homeless

Tucson is quite amazing. I am falling in love with this city. I see God here! I feel called here!
Well, Jason and I, mostly Jason, drove 2000 miles to get back here from Florida. We were blessed to stay with Jasons sister and brother in law for a week. They were such a blessing to us.

We arrived and immediately went to interviews we signed up for at a variety of agencies. We have yet to start at any of them. We are riding on the last bit of savings and staying at extended stay hotels. Tensions have been a little high sometimes...on my part....I have been not the nicest sometimes...mostly I think because I was a little scared if we didnt get jobs right away....I was a bit HIGH STRUNG....but my husband is amazing because he knows me and he knows how to be a ROCK for me even when he doesnt know he is.....my kids are great...Christopher has great spirit....and is so appreciative of things...he doesnt complain about not having a house...

Well I started writing this to talk about HONESTLY....VULNERABLY...about some experiences we have had......
ON the first night we came....I dont know how we found out about it but we went to a church to have a free meal....while there they told us about other meals we could participate in if we wanted to or needed to....Jason and I decided together that it was such a blessing to have found this because it would save us that little bit extra we needed if something came up for the kids or if we need to stay in our hotel longer.......we are riding on NOTHING....but literal FAITH.....

So the first night we went to a presbyterian church. WE ate inside and they served us at a table with a table cloth..We talked with some of the men there. One man just got custody back from his exwife...sounds like a good thing for the kids to be out of an unsafe drug environment....so he was there with his kids..said he was going to culinary school....wanting to better his life...another man we sat near was homeless and very street smart and aquainted...both very nice people...good hearts...
Next night we went to another church...we were a little late....and we sat outside....they served us on glass plates...christopher was so surpised....and a homeless man came up to him and gave him some toys and then just left.....he was so nice and christopher was floored by his generosity and kindness. Hesaid somethinglike...that man has nothing and he really gave me these....I know he was touched...
So we ate our amazing dinner outside sitting on the dirt ground with about 20 other women men and children that were homeless.
We went to a place called the Z mansion on Sunday and it was a literal mansion opened up to the homeless with street medics and servers and just amazing people....they served us like we were at a wedding reception...they give free clothes and showers to people that need it. They also gaveout sack lunches for anyone who wanted.
We went to a place called the giving tree that night too. Again served an amazing meal. Free clothes and shoes...I was able to help a man that was wearing womens sandals find a pair of ADIDAS running shoes...he was arab I believe...very nice...later he helped me get the last bit of water at the IGLOO on site...this place was in the middle of a poor area of town just on the dirt lot....
Christopher said he really liked it there....
ANYWAY...this is just a tidbit of our experience in TUCSON....homeless.....
The culture of the homeless is quite unique....We have only experienced wonderful people and angels that feel called to serve them.....We did avoid a verbal dispute and seen a little drug activity happening right next to us.....
I am saying all of this because I feel there is a very specific reason we are experiencing this right now...I am determined to help and serve as soon as we all all settled.....we are true nomads right now...I see the homeless in such a different light.....this journey is not over...I would love to write a novel sharing the real stories and lives behind those people EVERYONE passes on the side of the street with their signs and backpacks.....I am so humbled......I have been one of them.....and I shall never forget this experience...
JUST TO NOTE...we have not had to sleep outside or anything...our last funds are going to hotel extended stays and gas while we await our first check/job.

COMPLETELY HONEST AND VULNERABLE, KRISSY
I have to say I feel so close to GOD...it is amazing.....living like this there is so much dependence and intimacy with HIM

ramblings and blessings in one

Tomorrow we embark on a new journey....another one!!!!!We are going back to Tucson. I cant wait to climb those mountains again....they make me feel so alive....We are hoping to go to the Philippines after a little while...after we save and work awhile....and we have been invited to go to HAITI as well....HAITI isso real to me now...it is not a distance thought or dream.....I know some amazing people who live there now who not just come and visit for a week or month,but have made their life in HAITI.....they are amazing people and have an amazing ministry.....We will see how everything unfolds...but my vision of what GOD has for me and us is bigger than ever...I have seen God use Chrsitopher this summer to bring people to HIM....I know of a least 10 people that will be in heaven now because of the faith of that little boy....he didnt save them, no, he just let GOD use him to share the saving knowledge of JESUS CHRIST.....I see Jason is such a new an wonderful light...not that I didnt before adore and love him....but if I didnt know it was possible...I do know...I love Jason more than I even have before....I AM FLIPPING IN LOVE WITH THIS WONDERFUL MAN....and I know God brought us to the point we are at RIGHT NOW......for a great reason....thank you for patience, forgiveness and unconditional love JASON. YOu are beautiful.....you are magnificent. HERE is to OUR LIFE, OUR FUTURE, OUR JOURNEY, and OUR LOVE. I thank God for you everyday. When my eyes are fixed on JESUS......I SEE you and the life he has for us! That is an amazing revelation and comfort.....you bless me everyday. Heres to 80 more years together...hehe!Love Krissy Always and FOREVER
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THANK YOU JESUS FOR ALEXIA ELIANA MOLANDER.....she is just AWWWW...no words can describe what she means to our whole family! She is beautiful and perfect....and destined to do great things. Her smile melts my heart and I love watching her with Chris and Jason....she is like a radiant sun beam a fragrant rose....those arent even enough to describe her.....
Thank you God for this life...................I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam Childers "Machine Gun Preacher" Interview

I am watching the MACHINE GUN PREACHER movie with my husband tonight. My first reaction when he brought it home from REDBOX, was I was not going to watch it because I thought maybe it was a movie about something I shouldnt watch, almost like a blasphemy because the title seemed so opposite. I didnt know anything about SAM CHILDERS his life or his work. Jason just said it should be inspirational and it is about AFRICA. After he said that I gave the movie a second look. I did this by looking up the movie on the internet and reading about SAM CHILDERS.
I started reading and I had to just completely STOP...........WOW. I was floored by what I was reading and watching.
This is a story about a man....a lost man. He was a drug addict, a gang member, and almost a murderer. But for a moment in his life.....he was gripped by GOD....flooded with MERCY....realizing GRACE....AND HIS WHOLE LIFE WAS CHANGED.
He stops drugs, he asks Jesus in his heart, he renews his vow to his wife, he becomes a better father, he helps bring his best friend ex gang member/drug buddy off drugs, goes to AFRICA and find himself.
He opens his heart to those kids....He sees the HELL they are living through because he has indeed lived his own HELL on EARTH.
As I was reading on the internet....I saw some very disturbing and negative comments...that maybe not definetly that CHRISTIANS should not support SAM and his work....why you ask? Well the bloggers said some things like we should not support missionaries that stock pile weapons.....initially I agree....but then I dont.
I  have been to AFRICA...I have heard the heart wrenching stories of people who have been a part of genocide, had their families killed in front of them, etc..
It is not as though I support war...I dont..its ugly...so devastating...how does a person win people to the LORD with a gun in one hand and a BIBLE in the other.
But also, peace talks might not work and just simply preaching the WORD...does killing for the RIGHT reasons really make sense either???It is just so hard to come to a conclusion in my mind.
GUN FIRE and SAVING LIVES....how do those two things exist in the same world?
THE LRA, forced children to be soliders for them...so like in the movie, a child may be FORCED to kill, not really wanting to, and he himself might die by CHILDERS.....How did Childers figure in his mind that he could justify killing a LRA child solider to save two non LRA children.
Another part of the movie, he picks some of the children to take back and not the others...when he comes back they are all dead...does that make him a bad person....does that make him a murderer? NO. Of course not. He did what he could...could he have done more...could he have waited to get more...or could he have....maybe if he waited longer they would have all died....
And in this movie, I see the struggle that he is facing.....he wants to do more.....he wants to save lives and no one will help him...he sees the devils demons in carnate killing precious children...and he feels required to help....those children saved him in a sence...gave him purpose so he will do anything to help them.....
DOES he turn though, go too far.....there is a scene in the movie where he yells at his own daughter about her wanting a LIMO for her formal dance, and she swears at her....she says an interesting thing "you love those black babies more than me."
AT what cost do you pursue the mission that GOD has given you......how muchsacrifice  is toomuch....we are still responsible for our families and friends too, right. For instance, his best friend overdoses after he tells him that he is NOTHING MORE THAN A STRAY DOG. Didnt he realize that he was not only saving kids in Africa but also saving his best friend and redeeming his family's legacy.
And do we ever give up on GOD when we dont think he is moving at that pace he should be.....do we ever believe truly that GOD IS not watching....GOD HEART breaks constantly...I think it has since ADAM and EVE made the first decision...to go against God and that they could do better WITHOUT him.
I think SAM faced this moment in his life...where he felt....I have to do this myself...I cant take watching such agony anymore....I MUST DO THIS MYSELF...God must have abandoned me and now I am left to figure this out on my own...I started this journey with GOD  butnow he must have moved on to something else....and left me here to do this.....
HOW DO WE CHOOSE THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, when both requires death or killing.
In the movie a little boy chooses to shot his mother in order to save the lives of his brother and himself. Was this the right decision or the wrong decision? Who can tell me?
We cant lose our hearts even when people,bad people, take our families, our safety.......We have to keep hope in our hearts as well...and not let those we love suffer when we are dealing with things so much bigger than ourselves.....
What does redemption mean? What does it look like?
Who is our family? Who is our neighbor?
What is our plight?
Is it right to fight fire with fire...to save lives, to save a country?
At what point can we justify killing?
I want you to personalize this....would you kill 5 men...ten men if you knew in the truck they were driving was 50 children that were going to be taken to become children soldiers.
Personalize it further, could you leave your family in the states and go and live among a people not your own to save lives?
Could you tell your daughter or son, they wont get everything they want sometimes because the money that might have been intended for those special things are going to other children???
Im astonished and challenged by what I saw in this movie and what I read about Sam Childers...when we enter into something bigger than ourselves......its beyond us....the answers are not black and white...Im not even sure that they are gray....Well I have been inspired sweet Jason. You are right dear love of mine.
I guess in conclusion, but not really because I will be thinking on these things awhile and even more talking to God about these things, but I guess I want people to one day...read my story and be bewildered....not really know what to say in response to the way my life has played out....mystery....I want people to ponder it all...take it in and really think about it....
IF A TERRORIST CAME IN, and abducted your child and I told you I could bring him home, would it matter to you how I brought him home. These were the words of SAM CHILDERS at the end of the movie.....thought provoking.....let me personalize this to myself.....if a terrorist abducted my Christopher and my Alexis, and I knew that terrorist killed, raped, and sold into sex slavery other children the same age as my babies.....what would be my response?????
I am wondering, why is the UNITED STATES not taking an active role in this plight?? Why is there not army or something actively station in northern uganda and south sudan. 
Exhaustive from my ramblings, I will just end this post for now........but I will not stop contemplating this issue and my role and response to it.....LORD GIVE ME EARS TO HEAR A HEART TO BEAR AND WISDOM TO ACT/MOVE.........Krissy

Fetal heart circulation

Today Jason and I will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary.
Maybe cliche but here is the 9 things I love most about Jason:
1. His heart- his love is genuine which is a rare thing to find
2. He lets me be crazy- he never criticizes my crazy ideas about life, but embraces them and gives them wings.
3. He adores is little baby girl.
4. He knows that Christopher has great potential and will be greater than we ever were, and sets up opportunities for him to make sure this becomes reality.
5. My head fits perfectly on his chest....its the most relaxing place to rest my eyes.
6. He is a humble man- he is not boastful and never puts himself before others.
7. His EYES!
8. He knows that he can only REACH greatness and happiness when he is following God.
9. He wants to spend as much time with his family as he can......he would rather spend the day with me or the kids than with anyone else. His hobbies are US!
OH there are so many more.............................
this last year has been EXHAUSTING TO SAY THE LEAST....but we have a beautiful daughter...Jason is now a nurse....I am almost internationally licensed midwife.....we are going on a mission trip all together...the FOUR OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And in the next year we will probably be traveling hopefully to at least 3 continents...cool beans!

POTTERS CLAY

I am so excited to see how God is moving.......Sometimes I just wish I could stop and get the attention of all the people around me and say.....DONT YOU SEE THAT, DONT YOU FEEL THAT.....

Living life in the LORD is so overwhlelmingly WONDERFUL

I thank God for his constant GRACE AND MERCY AND FORGIVENESS AND BELIEF in me.....

WE get to be children of GOD.....how unbelievable is that.....I get to mess up..I get to be little old messed up me....with many shortcomings and areas that I need to grow and change....and HE still accepts me and takes me.....and says I am going to USE you for MY GLORY.....The most radiant being, the God that  parted the sea to save His people.....that God wants to use me to do SOMETHING...amazing....even better  He wants to use my family......to touch the lives of people we have yet to meet.I am excited for the adventure of travelling the world and  not only telling my kids about  the cultures of the world but letting them live in those cultures.....

Here is the verse that God gave me today:

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: ² “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” ³ So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. ⁴ But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

LORD MOLD THIS PIECE OF CLAY AS YOU WISH...........AMEN

At the end of another long arduous day.....I am very exhausted.....I am too tired to exercise, Im just too tired to open the Word of God to study the book of James like Ive intended to do for the past week now.....Ive work 3 of the past 5 overnights....Ive got those exhausted palpitations going on and that 7 lbs I lost over spring break are now only 1 lbs lost. I collapse into bed after a long day of school yesterday, after staying up 28 hours and taking a test.....had only a minute to share with my wonderful husband....before he had to stay up late to study for another test himself.....gave him a hug and wished him good luck....work up at 4 am to be on the road 445 am to get to clinicals this morning..................

OK OK OK.......
After reading this you might be exhausted yourself or annoyed at what might seem to be complaining.....

Im not complaining at all....I am writing this little synapse of this day as a memory...to remind myself and Jason of what we did to get to a beautiful place in life where I beleive god is leading us....this journey that is often exhausting just thinking about the things that day that need ot be conquered...but....that is the point... I think god is just challenging us to be faithful in these things so that we can be rewarded later....

I love my husband. I love his determination to finish school and his heart and reason for workling so hard. I love how much he adores his daughter and how much he cares and love his very vibrant son.

I love Christopher and those moments we get to share together just laughing and making each other laugh....I love how smart and creative he is and I love watching him make things and I love how much he talks. I enjoy watching him play sports this year and see him get older
I love little Alexis. I love her smile and her little grunts....I love the way she smells and watching her sleep...i love how much she adores her boys and how happy she makes Christopher....

I love my family and I love the future that I believe God has in store for us...I ask God for continued help to finish the race marked out before us...and remind us daily that it is not by our strength that we are doing any of this...

today I read about a tragedy of a family...the boy killed his mother and tried to sexual assault her.....it reminds me of some of the stories I heard and saw of at GAP and some of those kids and even part of my past.......

I am thanking God for the blessing of my family....i have everything that really matters

More to come........................

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Phil 3:12

Mercy Ships Tour of the Africa Mercy Pt1

Africa Mercy ships

Mercy Ships Tour of the Africa Mercy Pt1

Africa Mercy ships

Mercy Ships Tour of the Africa Mercy Pt2

Here is an awesome video about Mercy Ships Africa.

Another chapter....

Reading the WORD of God is so refreshing and healing to me. Ive decided to sit down at home whether for 5 minutes or 1 hour a day and read the WORD OF GOD aloud in my house. I might be just reading to myself or Jason or Chris might listen....but all the noise and distractions of a house and life..Im determined to fill my house with the sounds of God. I need it desperately to act sanely and love graciously.

Here is one of the passages I read today:

^1-4The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

^4-6Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

Also I am actually very challenged by Christopher to memorize more of the WORD of God. He is so great in doing this. It comes natural to him..and I see the effect it has in his life. I admire him and his faith. Thank you LORD for my child. I pray Alexis will also grow to love the LORD as much as her older brother.

I spoke with TEEN MISSIONS today and we will be going to lead a preteen group in CANADA this summer I am so excited. Also I am going with the kids to Hidden Acres as a camp nurse. But more importantly I am excited that Chris will be able to go to camp and get filled with God and be around good mentors. I pray that his faith will grow dynamically. Also for CANADA that our faith will grow and we will be able to just serve God and these kids. Thank you for all that you are doing LORD....

Also I am very much enjoying nursing school. Studying and all that is a little hard since I am so tired all the time but I really enjoy my instructor, learning and Ive made some good friends. Also I have this relentless ambition to get it donw this time because i am so excited about the path Jason and I are on to prepare for missions..... REALLY go and do.......I see the fulfillment of my childhood dreams.

Thank you God for your patience and commitment to me.....I love you forgive me for a distractable mind but thank you for being the holder of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Krissy