Dearest Jesus,
In the past few days I was a bit curious where you were.....I was calling out your name....my heart was searching for your heart....and then I realized...you were calling me...but I was just not in the right room...barely even in the right house!
Oh Lord I have learned something so valuable from my time here in the Philippines. I have learned what it means to put 100 percent dependence on you.
When all is stripped away and I simply come...as the song goes.....when I am face to face with my Savior....it is so powerful! It is so awesome!
Lord you have given me the ability to experience human love......and have intense wonderful beautiful relationships......but in this place....the Philippines....you are showing me YOU.....and requiring of me to really look at you...really depend on you...and no one else.
We all have such an intense need to be loved. Proverb 19:22 states "What a man desires is unfailing love...better a poor man than a liar." We are created with a God shaped hole in our existence...that only he can fill....
WE all want to be loved....we all desire unconditional unwavering radical demonstrative love.....love that is deeper than any sea....love that is wider than any horizon....we yearn for it...we spend our entire life in search of it.
WE all want to be held and comforted and treasured.
We are created with this deep need...because God is the only one who can fill it.
Some of us, myself included though, are trying to fill that need with other things than GOD. Even our spouses, friends, kids cannot fill this void.....only GOD.
It seems that many of us are walking around this world...with this cup....all day long we walk around with this cup...this empty cup...begging and holding out this cup....please fill me...even a tablespoon will help?
What do you fill your cup up with on a daily basis....
But NO ONE PERSON will ever be able to fill up that cup.....ONLY GOD.
I have been learning this being stipped of my family ....my dear husband and precious baby boy....that I have to rely mor on GOD to fill me up more and more each day....
Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing lovefor i have put my trust in you shoe me the way i should go for to you i lift up my soul....
Wouldnt it be great if every morning you allowed God to fill your cup up to the brim....and anything or anyone else adding to your cup would then just be overflow of an already full cup....believe me...there really is nothing more wonderful than being in the presence of someone who has had their cup filled up by Jesus Christ alone....they are radiant....
Lord I know that is the lesson you are teaching me while I am here in the Philippines...
I am so blessed back home to surrounded with such wonderful family and friends...and I just hear you asking me....but are you still relying on me?
I have blessed you with a wonderful life and family and friends....but do you really trust me....
do you let me be the whole to fill you ....so you are not walking around with gapping holes.....
I see so many people walking around...trying to fill themselves with things that will not complete them....
In marriages I see wholly people trying to get by.....frustrated that their spouse does not fill them up...when they are incomplete because they have not fully trusted God and put their hope in His love....
I see people in addictions...trying to cram their holes full of momentary fillers....and really it is like poison because it only makes their holes bigger and wider...
I see people trying to fill their holes with money and work and personal successess.....and still running completely empty.
So I am thankful for this time in the Philippines Lord...for the lesson you are teaching me.....to fill up on you first everyday.....and everything else can just be overflow...
I depend on you to get me through...I am no promised tomorrow...oh how I am blessed with great family and friends but daily Lord I have to come to you and let you fill me and lead me and change me and mold me....
Continue Lord to break me and challenge me...I need to be only yours...
I have learned to depend on you more.....
When there is no usual comforts or "fixes" will you learn to turn to HIM....
Will you let Him fill you up...so that you are not lacking anything....and that you are not a frustrated individual walking on this earth angry for not having your needs met?
Lord I am a work in progress, but I think that I am learning this more and more everyday...to have all my trust and hope in you! Amen
Thank you Lord for the lessons...but Lord also really I do thank you and fall at my knees before you in gratitude for giving me such a beautiful life....a beautiful family...a wonderful future.....great friends.....thank you Father God for supplying all my needs.
Your daughter, Krissy
No comments:
Post a Comment