Cant believe its almost Christmas!!!!

Well our beautiful daughter was born October 18th 2011. Her name is Alexis Eliana Israel Molander. And I cant imagine life without her now. Christopher and her already have a special bond. He adores her. She coos at him and he just talks so sweetly to her.
In the last week I have noticed how much she is following me. She lights up when she sees Jason Christopher or I. She is a little cuddle bear. I nicknamed her LEXIBEAR. She is just so adorable. Time is going so fast with her. Jason is in school and doing quite well. I honestly think he is going to be a better nurse than I am. Its amazing how he has let God direct him. We are excited to serve together as nurses someday on the mission field. Christopher is doing great with homeschooling. I think I am quite hard on him, or rather strict with him. I constantly challenge him and set the bar quite high for him. Some days he doesnt enjoy that from me, which I completely understand, but also I am so amazed at how smart he is. When I teach him something he really gets it. I have been teaching him lots of science since that is my expertise and he really remembers it. We took him to the bodies exhibit and I taught him about circulatory system. Well today Jason had a procedure done and had to have an IV. The nurse was talking with Chris and he explained to her about INFILTRATION. I was amazed. He was saying how the fluid had to go in the veins and then circulate through the heart. If it wasnt in the vein it would go into the tissue/skin around it. AMAZING. Hes always creating and thinking and building. He is getting really good at reading which is his greatest battle. I try to be patient and I know sometimes I am not, but he is really making great strides. I love listening to him read when he really gets it.
So what else is new ( i know I am just rambling but nobody reads this but me anyways, hehe)...
I was accepted into an advance standing nursing program for January. I jumped at the opportunity but now I am pulling back a little to get clarity. I want to make sure this is best for my family. Part of me is just content to be at home all the time with Christopher and Alexis and I dont want to go through more school and then other parts of me is screaming go for it because in the long term what it would mean for my family. I have to weigh if it is worth it to go to school overlapping with Jason for four months and having to have Christopher and Alexis in school and daycare. Im a bit overprotective to say the least. I will continue to pray about this and talk it over with Jason.
When I think of going to school, I start dreaming again about what life has in store for us, or rather what God has in store for us....its super exciting. I regret the fact that I took a mental and emotional sagway from those plans God had for me....some sort of character building that I never knew was so needed in my life. Ive been through emotional bootcamp....but now I feel unyieldingly undistracted for the mission at hand.
Being in Iowa is a time of calmness.....a time of preparation...and hopefully a time for family connection/reconnection.
Im excited for our time in Iowa. We are going to a cool church called Rhythm which I feel has a good balance of discipleship and service. As a seasoned Christian I feel that both are so necessary so as not to become lukewarm or stagnant.
Well, this email was a hodgepodge of just catching up (not very well) but from this point on I do want to use this blog again to dialogue about God, faith, life and dreams.
After being pregnant for nine months which was physically very grueling on me, I am starting to feel like myself again and one of my great loves is writing. I cant communicate very well in person but on paper somehow I feel my jumbled ramblings really make sense (at least to me) and I hope someday could be used to touch others peoples lives and be instrumental to their faith journey.

Next week we are going on a mission trip to Minneapolis with the Stone family and I am excited to set aside that time. I need to pour into the Word so that when the time comes I can share a WORD with someone that really is ready to receive it.

Thank you God for using me even when I am so unworthy...........

Your daughter
Krissy

One last thing, which is very personal, but I must put it down. I think that I am going to try and find a good Christian mental health counselor. I have realized that hidden things in my past show their face sometimes in my daily adult life and it scares me because I want to not act upon and react in a way that has lasting impact that is in anyway harmful to myself or my family. I hated counselors when I was little and never saw the point of them...but now I am going to pray that God will find me someone I can talk to and who might be able to help me settle my past junk so as not to hinder me from my future with my lovely children and perfect husband. I dont want to sabatoge anything. I noticed I have a lot of insecurities that lead me to make bad decisions and I have a lot of anger (learned I think from what I always saw), I think so depression which people say is anger turned inward......anywho, I am finally able to say this not thinking I am a weak person for needing to seek counseling. And of course my number one mentor will be JESUS and I will pray that the HOLY SPIRIT will dwell in me and renew, transform, and mold me so my past is not my future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Amen.