Tonight, I am very tired. It is now 5 am in the morning. During the weekday I would be getting up right now to go workout with some crazy,wonderful friends of mine. But tonight I am sitting at work waiting for 7am (actually 9 because that is what time my head will actually hit the pillow). I guess the only reason I am writing is because I want to be completely honest in this moment. I am very upset. I need to surrender this one to GOD. God can you help me? I know you can. I got a letter from my son's teacher today that he was having a difficult week. He has not been in school for almost three weeks. He is easily distracted. He is a busy five year old boy with an imagination that gets the best of him.
I was distraught to hear this about my son, this letter from his teacher. I ponder it all night. I came up with a plan on how to fix the problems he was having as best I could from home.
And then I realized he still will be at school without his mother's direction and guidance 6.5 hours a day. I really have no control over the situation.
It was a humbling realization.
My heart breaks when I cannot be there for him to fix it all for him. Just make it all better. Just get him on the right track. Because I know how to do that. I am his mother. I know him better than anyone else.
But as I think about this in my relationship with God 1) God let's us make our own decisions and let us figure out things the hard way- it is His way of refining us 2) I have to learn to trust God more with my most precious thing on this earth, my son. When I have reached my limit I need to let GOD take over.
Lord God protect my beautiful son. Help me to be the mom that he needs. Help me to guide him and teach him the ways in which he needs to behave. Help me to know his needs. Please help him never to feel abandon or lost or unloved or overwhelmed. Please help me make good decisions in life that will impact him positively. Help me to invest more time and energy into him and be able to recognize and take advantage of teachable moments.
I love you son. You are so beautiful. You are such an amazing child of God and I know that God is making you into something so rare that He will change the world through you.
Into your handsLord I commit my love, the most perfect gift you have ever given me.
Your daughter Krissy
Please help me help him!
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